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  • Agent Orange

    Columnist

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    Agent Orange: we can finish the season strong


    With two rounds and five games left in the season, it’s becoming increasingly clear that the Taipans won’t make the post-season.

    Sure, ‘mathematics’ ruled them out as a chance a month ago, but there’s always a small hope of a multi-team salary cap/peptides/illegal trout fighting scandal that would see competition points removed and the Taipans catapulted up the ladder.

    The Hail Mary didn’t come, and in three weeks the Taipans will be pre-hydrating for Mad Monday shenanigans.

    WHO WILL RISE?

    However, every non-orange team is still in the mix, with the fourth spot on the ladder being fought over like a chip at an Overeating Seagulls Anonymous meeting. Brisbane, Adelaide, Illawarra and New Zealand are separated by 1 or 2 wins and are hotly contesting that fourth spot on the ladder.

    Brisbane started slow and are coming home strong, Adelaide is up and down like a cheap pair of Kelvin Klein knockoffs but have the firepower to do anything, Illawarra and their Dirty Dozen squad have been overachieving all season, and New Zealand has a penchant for disruption and stealing finals spots.

    There is also a chance that the league's leader in media hubris, the Sydney Kings, could continue to trickle down the ladder amidst a patch of performances lacking inspiration. In the space of six games, they’ve seen their finals chances gone from ‘odds on favourites’ to ‘continuing a fruitful legacy of disappointment’ and ‘press the sack the coach button’.

    If they don’t rebound, literally, this week against the Bullets, their precarious ladder position might precipitate a punctual postponement of coach Andrew Gaze’s employment contract…

    NEXT STEP

    Even though our beloved men in orange are rearranging the cutlery drawer to accommodate a fresh wooden spoon, there’s plenty of basketball left in the season. The Taipans still have much to play for; pride, the Orange Army, contracts for next season, and most importantly, to ruin the plans of those already measuring up their trophy cabinet extensions.

    Given the state of things, I hope Kuany Kuany gets some serious court time. In a season of undulating fortunes, K2 has toiled consistently and tirelessly, no matter how limited his court time. He deserves a solid shot at showing us what he can do over extended minutes, in the hope of signing him again for next year.

    Kuany-mania is real, and the orange army can’t get enough of it #FreeKuany.